Stargazers
by Silent Misery
Summary: "Happy Valentine's Day, and Happy Anniversary, Natsu." - in which maybe, just maybe, Natsu wasn't as strong as everyone thought he was.


Happy Valentine's you guys! So, I haven't been able to work on FMITM lately, so this is my gift to you guys as an apology for not updating.

Well, Valentine's Fanfics tend to be all cutesy and fluffy. HAH. Not in the world of kpop fanfics -.- Angst, angst everywhere.

**Disclaimer: **Of course, I don't own Fairy Tail.

**Dedication: **To any readers who happen to enjoy my fics(;

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Raindrops trickle down her cheeks in warm thick lengths, the beads of water fluttering against her lashes before tumbling south. Her lips quiver; though, barely noticeable. She releases a quaky sigh, her gaze drifting to the distance with languid eyes.

She's tired.

So, _so_, very so.

She looks up in the sky, her gaze finding endless clusters of grey clouds, heavy rain emitting from them at a constant pace. It's around this time of year, that an endless rainy season surfaces. And it is during this time, that Lucy sits outside drenching herself until she's soaked to the bone, painstakingly numb.

At first, she's so used to the eerie silence that engulfs around her; blocking out all sounds that wasn't the pitter-patter of water splashing against every known object within the mile radius, and perhaps beyond. Her eyes widen a fraction, when it finally clicks into her mind that the chains of the empty swing set beside her now sat occupied.

"It isn't that bad." He merely states. Lucy blinks stupidly at the boy, a knot twisting in the pit of her stomach. "Death, I mean."

Lucy lolls her head back, gently pressing against the chains that encase her sides. Her fingers loosely trail to the edges of the swing seat, fingering the chains at the base.

"Maybe." She merely says, her voice monotonous.

"I wouldn't suggest it, though. You're too young - there will be better days." He replies, a small smile stretching over his thin lips. He shifts, sneaking a glance at the young girl before him.

"Are you thinking about it?" He asks.

"My impending death?" She replies cooly, "Perhaps."

"Choose another day - today is not that day. You'll find your reason soon enough."

And with that, he disappears just as quickly as he had come, leaving her at a loss.

.

"Nice to meet you guys, my name is Natsu Dragneel." A voice greets. Lucy looks up, curious as to why the voice seemed rather familiar. Her eyes meet the onyx orbs staring right back at her. A small smile fills the boy's features.

"Y-you!" Lucy exclaims, her eyes growing slightly wide. Natsu smiles and nods amused, pointing back at himself.

"Yes, me." He replies, and Lucy looks at him with distrust, not quite believing he actually stood before her. All her other friends look at them oddly.

"Lucy, do you know him?" The boy who had introduced Natsu to them, asked.

Lucy nods subtly. "Uh, yeah. We um, we met in the park a while back." She tells them half-heartedly. She doesn't add in the fact that it was the week where she had been contemplating on whether or not to take her life - the week when she had been leaning on the option of just ending it all. None of her friends knew of her struggles, and her want to just leave it all. And she planned to keep it that way.

Natsu raises his eyebrow at this, but chooses not to bring up what they had been talking about in the park - _two_ years ago. He understood that, perhaps her friends didn't quite know about her problems and how deeply rooted they truly were.

"Really? When was this? How come you didn't tell us about it~?" Lucy's friend, Lisanna, questions with a pout. Lucy shrugs carelessly.

"It was a long time ago, I didn't really think much of it. Who would've thought we'd meet again?" Lucy replies nonchalantly.

.

"You two are the _cutest_ things ever, oh my god!" Levy squeals, as she tugs at Lucy's hands. Lucy rolls her eyes, attempting to hide the pinkish red colouring that dusts her cheeks.

"Levy, can you _not_?" Lucy whines, pouting childishly, as Levy returns to doing her hair. Beside her sits Juvia, texting on her phone.

"How can I _not_? You two are going to the Valentine's Day dance with each other! Don't you understand how adorable that is!?" Levy practically fangirls once again.

"Only as friends, though. You know he and I won't ever be a thing!" Lucy tries to convince them, but the other two know otherwise.

"Lucy, why do you always think that?" Juvia asks curiously, pulling her attention away from her cellphone.

Lucy looks at her, her head cocked to the side. Levy reprimands her, frowning in disapproval as she reworks her clips in Lucy's hair. "What do you mean, why? He and Lisanna look really good together, don't you guys think?" Lucy replies. Juvia chuckles.

"They're not together, though." Juvia says.

"They used to be," Lucy counters, a little too bitterly for her liking. Juvia smirks at this.

"But they broke up for a reason, you know." Juvia explains, "Have some faith in yourself, Lucy. We know how you feel about him."

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Lucy tucks away a stray strand of blonde hair from her eyes, and behind her ears. Outside, snow falls gently from the small clusters of white and light greyish fluffy clouds. She smiles, before turning back to her notebook and returning to efficiently writing down her study notes.

"Exams are coming up," Lucy sighs to herself, "how troublesome."

For the next few hours, Lucy stays cooped up in her bedroom, a textbook and notebook in front of her, a highlighter in hand and her glasses perched up on the bridge of her nose.

With a tired sigh, Lucy drops her highlighter, and pulls her glasses off from her face. She tosses it carelessly onto the table, standing to stretch her tired limbs. Moving to the side, she reaches over for her phone.

As if on cue, her phone rings. Immediately, she slides her finger across the screen accepting the call. "Hello?" She answers.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, sweetheart." A sarcastic voice replies on the other line. Lucy's eyes widen, her eyes darting to the calendar.

"What?!" She shrieks in disbelief, panic rising in her. When her eyes fall upon the calendar, and spots all the markings for every passing day, her eyes fall on the blank square that signalled today.

"You asshole!" She yells, as the person on the other line continues cracking up in uncontrollable laughter. Lucy groans. "You had me going crazy, Natsu! Don't do that to me!"

She can almost imagine the said boy wiping away at his eyes, tears coming from his un contained laughter. "I-I'm sorry! I just couldn't help it!" He cries from over the line. Lucy rolls her eyes at him.

"You actually suck." She hisses unhappily. "What do you want, I'm studying."

"Awe c'mon, let's hang out!" He whines. Lucy rolls her eyes, before making a move to return back to her study desk.

"I can't, Natsu. I have to study for my exams." Lucy declines, her eyes returning to the numerous words sized twelve in Times New Roman font. Just by looking at the over pour of words, Lucy can feel a headache coming on.

"Knowing you, you've probably been studying since early this morning. Come on, an hour or two of hanging out with me and the others won't be that bad, will it?" He asks, in attempts of convincing her to come hang out with them.

"That hour or two will end up being the whole day. I know you guys, don't bother." Lucy replies tiredly, "It's not fair! Why do you guys get to have all your exams so early?"

Natsu chuckles over the line, and Lucy can feel her heart fluttering. "Poor you, Luce. We're all finally free from our exams!" He taunts before Lucy hears another squeal of laugher that certainly didn't belong to him.

"Whatever. What're you doing?" She asks, a little uneasily. It takes a few seconds for the boy to reply, probably distracted by whatever was going on before him.

"I'm with Lis and a few others. C'mon Luce, it's just for one day! Blow off your studying, your exams are like next week aren't they? And at the end of the week too, you still have a lot of time to study!" Natsu tries to persuade once more.

Lucy merely shakes her head. "I can't, Natsu. Besides, I'll be spending all day with you tomorrow, remember?" She reminds him. She doesn't add in the fact that despite he was a taken man - of three years might she add, - she didn't fancy the idea of seeing him with a certain white haired girl even when she clearly knew nothing was going on between the two.

There's a troubled sigh heard over the line, and Lucy frowns at that. "Natsu? Is everything alright?" She asks worriedly.

"Y-yeah. Just fine. Um, right, yeah I'll see you tomorrow." He replies. Lucy frowns, she doesn't like the unease she hears in his voice. "Hey, I might come over later. Don't wait up, though." He adds.

Lucy nods, shrugging of the doubt that lays heavily on her. "Yeah, alright. I'll see you if I see you." She says. "Bye, Natsu. See you tomorrow, if not later."

"Yeah, see ya. Love you!" He exclaims teasingly. Lucy blushes.

"L-love you too!" She replies hastily, before hanging up the phone. She chucks the phone away and to her bed, hiding her face between her two hands.

She'll never get any studying done like this.

.

A few hours later, Lucy wakes up to the frantic ringing of her phone. She groans tiredly, rubbing at her eyes. The room around her is dark, save for the light emitting from her phone and around her is a familiar jacket and a red blanket.

Lucy, with barely opened eyes, reaches for her phone. The time blinks an early two-twenty five in the morning. She slides her fingers across the front screen, answering the incoming call.

"Hello?" She answers groggily. What she hears on the other line surprises her.

There's loud sniffling, and choked sobs. The person on the other line attempts a few words, but Lucy can't understand a thing that is being said with the cracked voice, the hiccups, the sniffles, and the overall sobbing.

"L-Lucy!" The person on the line wails. "W-where are y-you?" Lucy frowns at this.

"I'm at home, where else would I be? Is that you, Lis?" She replies, worry creeping in her.

"I-yeah. It's m-me, Lis." She replies, before breaking out into another nasty sob that doesn't seem like it'll end any time soon.

"Lis, calm down. What's wrong? Did something happen?" Lucy asks, a little frantically. Contrary to belief, Lisanna was one of the few people in her group of fiends who rarely cried. Suddenly hearing her a sobbing mess, quite frankly, worried Lucy.

"H-he's.. Lucy, he's gone." She cries, and Lucy suddenly feels like she's been punched in the gut. She stops breathing momentarily.

"He - what? Lisanna, what are you talking about." Lucy doesn't even realize how loud she's being. She stops herself, and tells herself to calm down. She didn't even know what was going on - who was gone?

After a few seconds of Lisanna's sobbing over the line, she takes a deep breath and tries her best to explain to Lucy what had happened. "Natsu. Lucy, h-he's gone."

And suddenly, Lucy feels like everything has stopped for her. What did she mean, he was _gone_? Without even realizing it, tears begin gathering in her eyes. Lucy grits her teeth.

"What do you mean, he's _gone_? Find him then! Why are you crying about it?" She hisses angrily, standing up hastily, throwing off the blanket and jacket around her small frame. She immediately throws open her bedroom door, and runs down the steps.

"Lu-Lucy, I don't.." She tries, before she pauses to sniffle. "He's not gone as in, missing. He's gone as in -"

Just as Lucy finishes slipping into her shoes, her hand about the turn the knob to the front door open, her grip on her phone suddenly goes loose. The tears are trailing down her cheeks, her breathing heavy. Her phone slips rom her grasp, slamming the floor with a hollow knock.

"He's gone as in, he's _dead_."

.

.

.

"No!" She shrieks in disbelief, falling against the door. She gasps, grasping at her chest, as the tears start rolling without the intent of stopping. She cries, she sobs, she wails, curling herself into a ball.

Her phone sits a foot away from her, the call still ongoing. She can softly hear the cries of anguish across the line over her own despair.

They were lying.

He wasn't gone.

He couldn't be.

It was a joke, right?

_No_.

She refused to believe it!

She reaches for her phone, weakly sticking it to her ear. "You're joking right?" She shrieks, "Don't joke with me, Lisanna!" She yells furiously. She's breathing heavily, finding it hard to breath with the thick lump in her throat.

"Do you think I'm joking about this? I'm not heartless!" Lisanna shrieks back across the line. "H-he's g-gone. He's really _gone_, Lucy." Her voice cracks with horror.

Lucy's shaking - she refuses to believe it. How. How. _How_?

She had just spoken to him that afternoon, how could he have possibly left her? "H-how? Why?" She asks weakly, her throat sore.

She almost misses the quiet explanation from Lisanna, over her wails and heartbreaking sobs.

"It wasn't an accident - it-it was all on purpose." She whispers.

"Who was it?! I-I'll kill them!" Lucy shrieks, ignoring the pain that rakes through her throat, clawing at it. There's brief silence over the line, as Lucy grows angrier as the seconds tick by.

"No one killed him." A new voice said over the line. Unlike Lisanna, this person wasn't a crying, tearful mess. "He did it himself." The person continued, their voice cracking in despair.

"L-liar!" She sobs, wiping at her eyes.

"He committed suicide, Lucy. I- we... No one knew. He was fine earlier, he was happy! We - we don't understand why he would've done this." The person continues quietly, trying to sound as calm as possible. But Lucy knew - Lucy knew this person was trying to be strong for everyone else.

Lucy hangs up the phone, further curling herself up into a ball. She pushes herself up against the front door, her forehead meeting here knees a her body shakes with uncontrollable tears. The house is later filled with her heart wrenching sobs, broken wails and terrified shrieks.

Her mother walks down the steps, her chest constricting in pain as she spots her devastated daughter by the front door. Almost immediately, she runs towards her, taking her broken daughter up in her arms. Lucy uncurls herself from the ball she has formed, her arms wrapping around her mother's neck, her face burying into her chest as she cries.

"M-mom.." She tries, before taking a deep breaths and another broken sob escapes her lips. Her mother shakes her head, as she tries to comfort her daughter, her hands drawing small figures on the small of her back.

"Shh, you don't have to say anything." Her mother reassures.

.

Lucy opens her eyes the following evening, her eyes red and puffy from all the crying she had done that early morning. She sits up, the information from earlier returning and hitting her like a tidal wave, breaking rocks from the cliff side. Only, the tidal wave was the information, and the broken rocks were parts of her slowly breaking at the loss of her beloved.

"Why.." She whispers, her eyes growing misty before the tears come back full fledged once more. She hugs herself tightly, her chest constricting when she sees the abandoned jacket on the floor.

Natsu's.

So he _had_ been here the night before, just as he had promised.

Lucy weakly moves from her bed, and towards the abandoned jacket. She picks it up shakily, smiling brokenly at it.

"Why, Natsu?" She cries softly, "Why?"

She hugs the jacket, his scent still on it. Slowly, she slips it on, and hugs herself with it. Just as it had always been, the jacket was far too large on her, the sleeves long past her wrists and the ends moving past her thighs.

It was his favourite jacket - and her favourite piece of clothing that he owned.

She opens her eyes weakly, her eyes spotting the pink and white colours on her study desk. She bites here lip, slowly walking over to her desk.

On it, in a vase sat a bouquet of pink stargazers with two lone white stargazers in the center. With her throat sore, Lucy lets another sob escape her as she approaches and gently touches the pink petals.

"Why..." She whispers, "You're the reason I'm still here, Natsu. You helped me all those years ago, and yet, you were the one who left me?"

She smiles slightly, her eyes brimming once more with tears. But this time, she wipes them before they could crawl down her cheeks.

"Happy Valentine's Day, and Happy Anniversary, Natsu."

* * *

There you guys have it! I tend not to make notes at the end of any chapters or stories I write, however I feel it is necessary for this fic. If there is confusion, read second note. If not, feel free to leave questions in the review box and I will answer it, or even PM me.

First of all: I'm sorry for the random scenes fit in the middle - those really short and unnecessary scenes. I put the, there because I felt it would've been slightly awkward to just jump from such an introduction like that, to something that initially takes place six or so years after.

Second: Stargazers. Pink stargazers are usually used to symbolize romance, wealth and prosperity. White stargazers are usually used to symbolize innocence, simplicity and purity. The use of both colours can express apologies, or express gratitude. Therefore, at the end, when Natsu leaves Lucy the bouquet of pink and white stargazers, he is apologizing for leaving her.


End file.
